By: karengray | July 28, 2019

Having goals for things we want and working towards them is an important part of being human. The path towards our goals may not always run smoothly or be easy, but having goals, big or small, is part of what makes life good. It gives us a sense of meaning and purpose, points us in the direction we want to go, and gets us interested and engaged, all of which are good for our overall happiness.

We all have dreams we hold back, decisions left to make or plans put on hold. Everyone has at least one thing that they would like to overcome, need to do, or want to do. Sometimes we might be fearful or hesitant to change. What would it look like to go ahead and do it? What would it feel like to take that first step? Some people might just say “Well, that would be nice.” But I’d like you to really imagine for a moment what it would feel like to take just one small step toward that goal.

The term “all or nothing” relates to doing something either completely or not at all. It means having no middle position or compromise available. Unfortunately, this is how we tend to think of the things we do, even when we aren’t aware of the thinking. How many times have you put off doing something because you didn’t think you’d have time to finish it right away? How many times have you postponed something because you didn’t know what the end result would be?

Well, I am very happy to share with you that nothing is really all or nothing.

Whenever we set out to change something, there is a series of choices and actions that we must take in order to implement our desired changes. Each decision has to be made before we can act on it, and each step must be taken before we can move on to the next one. Al changes are made up of these collections of decisions, and you can change course, make adjustments, and even stop the process at any time. 

Start at the Beginning

Take a couple minutes and think about your goal. If you’re having trouble finding your motivation, it might help to ask yourself, Is it really your goal? If you realize that your goal was set by people around you like parents, teachers, bosses, or society in general then, whenever possible, reframe the goal to better reflect something you’d like to achieve.

And just like that, you have taken your first step. Now whenever you’re ready, you can take the next one.

Write it Down

Writing down goals gives them a sense of reality and increases our chances of sticking with them. I like to get a new notebook, one that will be used just for this goal. Then I’ll set aside just 15 minutes and write out my goal carefully. 

Write down what your goal is, how you’ll know you’ve reached it, and when you'd like to have achieved it by. Figure out what it will look like when you’ve reached your goal. How will you feel when you have achieved it? How does this goal connect to what you value in your life? Being clear about how you’ll benefit from making these changes makes them easier to create.

Next, describe your goal in specific terms and timescales. Instead of saying  'I want to do some gardening.' be more specific. 'I want to plant lettuces, carrots and peas in the empty patch in my garden by the end of May.'

And state your goal in positive terms, focusing on what you want, instead of what you don’t want. Write your goals in terms of what you want, not what you don't want. For example: saying 'I want to be able to wear my favourite size ___ jeans again', rather than 'I don't want to be overweight anymore' keeps you from focusing on your problems.

And before you know it, you’ve taken another step. You decide what happens next.

Break it Up

When you’re ready, sit down with your notebook for another 15 minutes. Think about the smaller goals that are steps on the way to achieving the bigger ones. Sometimes big goals are a bit vague. You might want to be healthier, but what does that mean? Breaking these big ideas down helps us to have a clearer picture of what needs to be done.. So start mapping out the smaller goals that will get you closer to your overall goal. For this part I like making lists. 

If my goal is to get healthier, one of my smaller goals might be 'go running twice a week” or even 'to be able to run around the park in 20 minutes without stopping'. Write down your smaller goals and try to set some dates to do these by too. Having several smaller goals makes each of them a bit easier and gives us a feeling of success along the way, which also makes it more likely that we'll stay on track towards our bigger goal.

And yes, you guessed it - another step closer, another decision, and another opportunity to choose what happens next.

Is it Really All or Nothing?

If you’ve been following along, you have taken a few small and manageable steps, and it didn’t disrupt your life in any major way. There is plenty of room for compromise, and opportunities to change your mind. We’ve done away with that “All or Nothing” block, and planted that first step on the path ahead to that life you are so ready to enjoy.

The Role of Hypnosis

Hypnosis, to me, is a specific set of tools designed to help people use their own sills, abilities, and resources more effectively to take back control of the parts of their lives that they felt were out of control before.

Sometimes we have limiting beliefs that get in our way. Sometimes we have negative thinking that can sabotage our success and put some serious roadblocks in our way. The subconscious mind is actually trying to satisfy some need by maintaining these limiting thoughts and beliefs. And the best way to eliminate that negative thinking is to teach the subconscious mind to find a different way to meet the need.

Hypnosis lets you experience the changes you want to see as if you’ve already achieved them. Using your imagination, you can see the benefits of reaching your goals, and that allows your subconscious mind to let go of the old patterns and habits and behaviors that held you back.In a few sessions, you can let go of the limiting behaviors and beliefs. When you clear away that clutter, you have room to work, create, and build new patterns.

Karen Gray is a Certified Professional Hypnotist, a Certified Hypnosis Instructor, a Registered Nurse, and the Director of Green Mountain Hypnosis. For more information on how you can use hypnosis to change your life, contact Karen at, or (802) 566-0464.

Category: Self Improvement 



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