Last week was graduation for my youngest, and in a span of just a couple days my quiet home was filled with family and friends from across the country. There were so many emotions and activities and things to be done and keep track of that it was hard at times to keep it all straight.

I didn't pick up the house or put things away. I didn't jump back into work on a full schedule. I slept in on the weekend, had pizza for dinner, rested, and took some time to just be.

Of course there was stuff to do that wasn't getting done, and that was okay. After all the commotion and stress of the last week, I just needed a break.

I wasn't being lazy, I was taking care of myself.

Rest isn't Laziness

That’s the part we’re rarely taught to recognize. Rest doesn’t always look intentional. Sometimes it shows up after you’ve spent days keeping track of logistics, emotions, conversations, and everyone else’s needs. Sometimes it hits when the event is over, the dishes are still out, and you realize you can’t keep track of one more thing. You go to answer a message and forget what it was about. You walk into a room and just stand there, blank. You sit down for a minute and start to scroll.

And even then, the mind might try to label it. Lazy. Behind. Avoidant. But that’s not what’s happening.

What’s really happening is the nervous system recognizing a chance to reset. The subconscious, long-trained to keep going under pressure, sees a quiet moment and finally lets go.

When the pressure lifts, the mind often drops. That’s not failure. That’s a practiced pattern.

When my kids were little they would, like most little kids, be going non stop all day. They were like tiny balls of energy barreling through the day at high speed. And more often than not, they resisted rest. They would fight sleep like champions, wanting to get just a little more out of the day.

All it took to get them to settle down was just a few moments of quiet, just a brief pause that gave them permission to close their eyes and wind down. That pause isn’t weakness. It’s permission. And when you stop fighting the need to pause, everything gets a chance to recalibrate.

Take a Break

After the energy has been spent, and the people have been cared for, and the things are done. After something meaningful has ended, you have a real need to recover that energy, those resources.

A client shared something with me recently that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about. It’s a sailing term: velocity made good.

Now, I’m not a sailor, but this one hit home in a big way.

Let's break it down.

Velocity means the speed of something in a given direction. But speed alone doesn’t tell the whole story. Velocity made good is about how much of your movement is actually getting you closer to your destination - your real goal.

You could be moving fast in all directions, doing a hundred things, chasing down progress and still not getting anywhere that matters to you. Instead you could be moving slowly, even awkwardly, and every inch of it is taking you somewhere meaningful.

Life is Going to Continue to Happen

Sometimes the wind is right and you can head straight toward what you want. And sometimes the wind picks up and just propels you in a direction that is so far off course. The speed is there, the momentum is there and that feels pretty good, but you're not heading anywhere near where you want to be.

Instead, let's incorporate the idea of Velocity Made Good.

When the wind picks up and starts pushing the boat around, sailors will "tack", or zigzag back and forth. This let's them take advantage of the strong wind without getting pushed too far off. This also means that you aren't following a straight path to your destination - and that is more than okay.

When you’re "tacking" you’re zigzagging. You’re shifting angles, adjusting your sail, doing things that look and maybe even feel inefficient from the outside. But in reality, they turn out to be just the forward momentum you need.

I think about this a lot when I hear someone say they “should be doing better” or “shouldn’t still be struggling.” I hear it when people are working on impulses, or stress, or emotional eating. When they’ve made huge shifts and still feel like they’re failing because they haven’t landed in the perfect place yet.

But here’s what I’ve learned, over and over again: progress doesn’t always look the way we expect it to. Sometimes it’s putting away two dishes when you meant to clean the kitchen. Sometimes it’s just noticing the thought, the feeling, or the reaction - even after the fact. 

And sometimes it’s just floating. Not trying to fix anything, or do anything, or force anything. Just resting and letting the wind settle. And even that is moving you towards your goal. That’s velocity made good.

How Hypnosis Helps

If any of this feels familiar and you feel like you're in one of those zigzag seasons, try this:

Start noticing the tiny wins. It might be the small pivots, or the moments you almost did the old thing, but didn’t. Maybe you noticed how you did it differently, or even just saw it for what it was.

Those moments matter. A lot.