Healing Heartache

Nothing hurts quite like the pain of a broken heart. Romantic love is an intense thing, and when that love breaks down or is not reciprocated, it can be gut-wrenching. The experience can trigger a range of negative emotions that affect every part of your life, including feelings of worthlessness, despair, self-blame, loneliness, insomnia, lack of appetite and binge eating.

Healing is a process, and it will take some time. Knowing what you’re dealing with can make the process easier and get you back to your confident self sooner. 

What is Heartbreak Anyway?

Heartbreak is  a form of grieving. It stirs up the same emotions as those you experience after a loss. A broken heart can affect every aspect of your life.

The grief that comes with heartbreak isn’t something that a person can simply snap out of, and unless you’re able to come to terms with it, it can play havoc with your life. According to medical experts, there are 5 distinct stages of grief. These 5 stages are:

Stage 1: Denial

When you get rejected, it can floor you. One day you’re in love and everything’s hunky-dory, and the next day the other person tells you it’s over. It’s only natural that you find it hard to believe and to accept. You’ll be in shock and may have difficulty processing the information. Denial is a sort of defense mechanism, protecting you from the overwhelming flood of emotions.

Stage 2: Anger

Sooner or later, reality strikes. The other person’s absence starts to sink in. You begin feeling your loss, and the pain that loss brings. A different set of emotions begins to rise up, including frustration, vulnerability, and anger. You may find yourself angry at the other person, at yourself, at complete strangers, and at the world in general. You might even take it out on the people around you, including your colleagues, family, and friends.

Stage 3: Bargaining

You start to wonder what went wrong, and what you could have done differently. In the Bargaining stage, you run through a bunch of “what if” scenarios, and may convince yourself that if you’d done things differently or better, the outcome would be different.

Stage 4: Depression

The Depression stage is when the feelings begin to sink in, and there are a lot of them! Your emotions become overwhelmed and many people begin to experience symptoms of depression, feeling sad, sorry for themselves, and might feel the need to temporarily shut down.

Stage 5: Acceptance

In the final stage, you come to realize that the situation is what it is. It can’t be changed, no matter what you do. So you have to accept it and move on with your life. You still feel the loss, and you might even feel sadness at times. But you know the relationship is truly over, and that enables you to put it behind you and get on with your life again.

People go through these stages at their own pace. It’s common for some people to skip a stage, or to go back to a stage, until they’ve resolved their grief to their own satisfaction. Allow yourself to go through the process, acknowledging your feelings and progress. Remember that bottling up our emotions can cause even bigger problems, so allow yourself to feel.

Healing Heartbreak Hypnotically

Hypnosis and meditation have been used for centuries to help people overcome life’s challenges and can be very effective tools for healing a broken heart.

Meditation works to gently calm the mind. It allows you to breathe your way back into life as you release the toxic thoughts that may be keeping you trapped in a negative state. Hypnosis taps into the unconscious part of your mind where negative emotions and thoughts are stored with the aim of reprogramming negative feelings to be more positive. This releases feel-good chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin and endorphins and can make you feel more positive almost immediately.

This quick and easy exercise combines meditation and self hypnosis. It only takes a few minutes and can be done by yourself at home:

Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit where you won't be disturbed. Close your eyes and shift your attention to your breathing. Notice every inward breath and every outward breath. Begin counting backwards from 25, counting each breath flowing in and out. If your mind wanders, gently bring your attention back to your breathing and continue counting.

Be aware of any thoughts floating through your mind. Without attaching a story or giving any attention and energy to the thought, notice it and let it pass. Imagine that your thoughts are like leaves floating down a stream, and simply notice each thought as it comes, without judging them or following the thought.

When you reach zero, allow your mind to clear and as you exhale, say to yourself “Every day, in every way, I am better and better.” Repeat the phrase as you exhale ten times.

Heartbreak is painful, and it won’t last forever. Using hypnosis can give you a natural way to resolve those complex emotions more easily, letting you heal faster and feel better.∎