Say Something Nice - To Yourself!

We all have an inner dialogue, and sometimes that self-talk we experience is critical and can even be downright mean. That negative self-talk can cause real damage to our sense of confidence and well being. You are what you say you are, and if you are constantly hearing criticism you will start to believe it - even if it isn’t deserved.

You can turn that negative dialogue around by taking a few moments each day to tell yourself some nice things. You’ll have to be mindful of it at first, and soon being nice to yourself will become an easy habit. You’ll start to notice a happier mood, lower stress, and less beating yourself up.

At some point during your morning routine, stop for a moment and look at yourself in the mirror. Take a couple deep breaths and give yourself your full attention, and give yourself a compliment. It doesn’t have to be anything big. You can acknowledge something you did well. Or that you have on a nice shirt, or that your coffee was tasty. You get the idea. Imagine that you are talking with a friend and you want to say something to them to brighten their day. It may feel silly at first - do it anyway.

Once you get used to the idea of your daily compliment, you can start noticing some other great things about yourself. You may want to keep a list in your journal, or write yourself sticky notes. Here are some ideas of the nice things you can say to yourself:

Acknowledge an accomplishment.

Think of something you've accomplished lately and remark on it, especially if it's something you are proud of, or if you think it's been largely overlooked.

"You completed that big project last week, and it was a success!"

"You worked really hard and got all A's this semester, congrats!"

Appreciate a personality trait.

Showing appreciation for something that makes you likable is a great way to delete critical self-talk.

"Thank you; you've been really attentive. I appreciate that,"

"You're always ready to lend a hand, and that's a great quality to have."

Be a noticer.

A noticer is the kind of person who can pick up on the little details. You can turn this into an avenue to kindness by paying attention to the little things you do.

"I've noticed how you always take time to restock the coffee for the coffeemaker. I just want you to know it's appreciated,"

"I saw how you helped that guy carry his bag, and that was a really nice thing to do."

Compliment a style.

It can be a little awkward to compliment your own appearance, so try complimenting your style instead. Maybe you always wear colorful clothes, or strive to look polished. Maybe you like to have funky jewelry or a great handbag collection.

"You always have the best shoes!"

"I love the colors in your necklace. You look so put together.”

Compliment a feature.

Finding a specific feature can mean more than a general "You're handsome" or "You're pretty." Focus on something about you that stands out.

"Your hair looks great like that,"

"Your smile is contagious!"

Appreciate your existence.

Sometimes we just need to know that someone's glad we're around, even if that someone is us. We've all been there, and there's something reassuring about hearing that you're wanted.

"I just want you to know, you are a great friend,"

"It’s really great to have you around.”

Having an inner dialogue is healthy and normal. Unfortunately, we can find ourselves with negative thoughts that break down our confidence and lead to negative emotions, fears, and self-defeating behaviors. When we become aware of those thoughts and begin replacing them with positive thoughts, we can enjoy the benefits of a more positive, productive, and happier life.∎