The Power of Fear
The power that we give to Fear never ceases to amaze me. We allow it to control our actions and reactions, and even to affect our entire lives. I was listening to the radio when it occurred to me that fear is just an idea that we made-up. Fear is just a concept. I was in my car, listening to an interview when, in response to a question about starting a new venture, the man said “I figured, if it wasn’t going to kill me or cause permanent bodily harm, what was there to lose really? So, we gave it a shot.”
That was a life-changing moment for me. If it wasn’t going to kill me or cause permanent bodily damage, why not give it a shot? In that moment, I understood that Fear was just a concept - a relative state of mind that we assign to certain circumstances in our lives. Once I heard this man put fear into a perspective of consequences, I was able to decide to stop letting fear keep me from doing the things I wanted to do.
As I was working with other people, using hypnosis to help them eliminate their fears, I was able to identify some of the most commonplace fears people fall into. Here are some of them, and some things you can do to put them into perspective.
Fear of Failure
This is the big one. Many people are afraid of failure. We don’t want to disappoint others, or waste resources, or feel bad about ourselves. But honestly, what is so bad about failure? Failure isn’t going to kill you or cause bodily harm, and the good news is that it will teach you things you need to know.
Failure is how we learn. Failure is a necessary component of success. Let me repeat that in different way: it is not possible to really succeed without failing first. Think for a moment about an infant learning to walk. As a parent, we watch our babies struggle to stand up, wobble, reach out for balance, and fall - over and over and over again. Learning to walk is accomplished by hundreds of failed attempts. And think of yourself now, walking around without even thinking twice! By simply shifting your idea of failure from something painful that should be avoided to something that is a part of your path to success, failure becomes your best ally.
Doing the thing you’re afraid of - over and over again.
Get up and go do something. I have heard people tell me that if it’s “meant to be,” it will simply come to them. Well, OK, you can believe that if you want, but life just doesn’t hand out success. Action is necessary in making things happen. One of my favorite quotes is from author T. Harv Eker: “If you are only willing to do what’s easy, life will be hard. If you are willing to do what’s hard, life will be easy.” The ability to do what needs to be done and to make difficult decisions will lead you to the success you are looking for. The best way to get unstuck is to start doing something. Just start moving.
Get comfortable with Uncertainty.
Do you ever play the “what if” game? What if it doesn’t work out? What if I get hurt? What if people laugh at me? Of course you do! We all have this inner dialog. All too often we forget that we are what we say we are - and we answer these questions in ways that hurt our chances of success. So, if you’re going to play, play like a pro. It goes a little something like this:
What if it doesn’t work out?
Well, I then I’ll try something else.
But what if that doesn’t work?
I can keep trying until I find something that does work.
What if people laugh at me?
I’m not going to be defined by what other people think of me. And besides, how often do people actually outright laugh at other people?
By giving yourself realistic and honest answers, the “what if” game can actually be a great tool that not only empowers you, but helps you brainstorm your actions.
Recognize that you are both Imperfect and Enough.
We are all worried that we are not enough of something. Not smart enough, not thin enough, not accomplished enough, not pretty enough. In other words, we feel that what we are is not enough to accomplish our goals. Here’s the thing, you are both beautifully flawed, and entirely enough - at the same time. We all are. When you are able to really wrap your head around that, fear will begin to dissolve.
Whether you want to learn another language, or start your own business, or fall madly in love - your success lies in deciding that you are capable of doing whatever you decide to do. And Fear - it’s just a concept that you can define any way you choose.⛊
Karen Gray is a Registered Nurse, a Certified Hypnotist, and the owner of Green Mountain Hypnosis in Lebanon, New Hampshire. For more information on how you can use hypnosis to change your life, you can visit www.greenmountainhypnosis.com, or contact Karen at karengray@greenmountainhypnosis.com, or call (802) 566-0464.