People who struggle with impostor syndrome believe that they are undeserving of their achievements and the high opinions that others have of them. They feel that they aren’t as competent or intelligent as others might think, and that soon enough people will discover the truth about them.
To put it simply, impostor syndrome is the experience of feeling like a phony. It may feel as though at any moment you are going to be found out as a fraud, or like you don't belong where you are, and you only got there through dumb luck. It can affect anyone no matter their social status, work background, skill level, or degree of expertise.
For many people, impostor syndrome can fuel feelings of anxiety. Feeling like you are constantly on the verge of being called out as a fraud can cause people to over-prepare or work much harder than necessary to "make sure" that nobody finds out.
This sets up a vicious cycle of insecurity, leading to the false belief that the only reason you’ve done a good job is because you stayed up all night rehearsing your presentation, or the only reason you got through that party or family gathering was that you memorized details about all the guests so that you would always have ideas for small talk.
The truth is, you did a great job because you are really that good - even without all the overpreparation.
The problem with impostor syndrome is that the experience of doing well at something does nothing to change your beliefs. Even though you might sail through a performance or have lunch with coworkers, the thought still nags in your head, "What gives me the right to be here?" The more you accomplish, the more you just feel like a fraud. It's as though you can't internalize your experiences of success.
What Impostor Syndrome Looks Like
Impostor syndrome may be a feeling of fear that other people expect more from them than they can manage. The fear of not succeeding may cause a person to hold themselves back and avoid seeking higher achievements.
It can limit one’s desire to take on responsibilities. People with impostor syndrome may focus on limited tasks instead of taking on additional duties that can prove their abilities, out of fear that the extra responsibility will “out” them or compromise the quality of their other work.
Success can create a cycle of self-doubt for people with impostor syndrome. Even when the person achieves an important milestone, they may be unable to recognize their accomplishments. Instead of celebrating their achievements, the person may worry that others will discover the “truth” about their abilities.
Individuals with impostor syndrome consistently deny their abilities and can often feel that their successes are due to outside factors or pure luck. Similarly, when things go wrong due to external reasons, the person may blame themselves.
In some cases, a person may not feel sufficiently challenged in their work, but a fear of failure or discovery keeps them from seeking promotion or extra responsibility. People with impostor syndrome tend to stay in their positions because they do not believe that they can do better. As the person works harder to overcome feelings of inadequacy, they also have a higher risk of burnout.
The same patterns and behaviors show up in personal relationships as well, leading people to settle for less than they deserve, or to stay in unhealthy or unsatisfying relationships.
Feeling Better
Impostor syndrome can stifle the potential for growth and success by preventing people from pursuing new opportunities at work, in relationships, or around their hobbies. Confronting impostor syndrome can help people continue to grow and thrive.
Stay focused on measuring your own achievements instead of comparing yourself to others. Similar to perfectionists, people with impostorism often put a lot of pressure on themselves to complete every task flawlessly. They fear that any mistake will reveal to others that they aren’t good or smart enough for the job. They keep this excessive pressure on themselves because they believe that without the discipline they won't succeed. When they do succeed, instead of rewarding themselves, they only worry about the next task ahead.
Talk to your mentors
Talk to the people around you that you trust. Ask them how you’re doing, and what you can do better. Getting their honest feedback can help you keep your perception of accomplishments and need for improvement in perspective.
Recognize your expertise
Remember how far you’ve come! We all have an “origin story” that describes how we got to where we are. Sharing your story with others can help you realize how far you've come and how much knowledge you have to impart.
Remember what you do well
Years ago when I first started my hypnosis practice I attended a convention with a lot of incredibly successful and talented hypnotists. I found myself seriously doubting whether or not I had what it would take to be successful, even though I had hundreds of success stories from my own clients. I was feeling awkward and small around this group of “greats” when one of my mentors, a pioneer in the field of hypnosis, said to me “I’ve heard about the work you’re doing. Can you show me how you do that technique?”
Realize no one is perfect
Stop focusing on perfection. Put simply, we learn by making mistakes and seeing where things can be improved. If you don’t allow yourself to start for fear of failure, you are keeping yourself from learning and growing. Do something “well enough” and give yourself credit for doing the work. Then notice what, if any, ways it can be improved.
Change your thinking
Reframe the way you think about your achievements. Building up self-esteem and confidence, shifting your understanding of success and failure, and resetting your mindset around what you deserve will eliminate the feelings of being an impostor. There are a number of ways you can do this, including the ones listed above. And you can always talk to someone who can help.
Overcoming impostor syndrome involves changing your mindset about your own abilities. Impostors feel like they don’t belong, so acknowledging your expertise and accomplishments is important. Allow yourself to remember that you earned your place in your personal, academic, or professional environment.
Hypnosis, peer groups, and individual therapy - either used together or individually - can be extremely helpful. I have worked with hundreds of clients over the years to change the way they perceive themselves and their success by updating the outdated beliefs that have been holding them back.
Often the people affected by impostor feelings don't realize they could be living some other way. If you are feeling small and like you don’t deserve to be successful, or if you’re feeling overworked and burnt out, then it’s time to remind yourself of the Rockstar you really are.∎
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Karen Gray is a Certified Hypnotist, Registered Nurse, and Director of Green Mountain Hypnosis. For more information on how you can use hypnosis to change your life,