How Our Expectations Shape Our Reality
Did you ever notice that people who hate Mondays have the worst Mondays ever?
I don't mean just rough starts or a little tension. It’s like the whole day takes shape around the expectation. The moment they open their eyes, the story’s already running: "this is going to be awful, I’m already behind, nothing ever works on Mondays."
And sure enough, the day is just awful. What would normally be slight inconveniences turn into disasters and the whole day feels like it's against you.
Years and years ago I worked in a job that I hated. We were always understaffed, and management was out of touch and pushy. I’d wake up already thinking about everything that was going to go wrong. Every day felt like a disaster. I was certain it would be awful, and then it was.
Until one day, without meaning to, I caught myself noticing something else. It was early. I was exhausted. But my coffee was warm and my house was quiet. The kids were still asleep and the sun was just coming up and there was a tiny moment of stillness before anything had started. And I noticed I liked that moment. I felt calm. I even smiled. And for the first time in a long time I wasn't focused on dreading the day ahead.
And you know what? The day wasn't awful. The slight inconveniences stayed small, and things just felt easier. All because I allowed my focus to shift from all the things I didn't want to happen to that simple moment of quiet.
Editing Expectations
Do you ever find yourself dreading something because you “just know” how it’s going to turn out? And sure enough, you do the thing and it turns out just how you knew it would.
In hypnosis, we refer to this as Future Pacing. It’s our ability to pre-determine an outcome through hypnotic self-suggestion.
Our subconscious minds are continuously listening to us for direction. So when we run that negative scenario through our thoughts, our minds hear those predictions and do their best to make sure our expectations are met. That negative narrative creates a template that our subconscious mind will follow, and everything we experience from that point forward is filtered through the lens of how we decided it would be.
Managing our experiences and setting ourselves up for success starts with changing the tone of our predictions.
Hypnotic Reframing
Hypnotic Reframing is a simple way to shift our focus away from the negative and stop making things so hard for ourselves. It’s effective, and it doesn’t leave you feeling like you’re trying to fool yourself.
Let’s start by being more choosy about what we focus on.
For example, you may be tired and begin thinking about how today is going to be long and difficult. If that’s the only option you give your subconscious mind, then of course that’s the one it will carry out.
Instead, you can shift your focus to what is good, positive, or right about the day. What's interesting is, it really doesn't matter how small or seemingly unrelated the positive thought is. You can simply start thinking about how great it is that you have fingers, that the coffee is warm, that there's a song you really love.
And because every thought creates an awareness of another thought, it starts a chain reaction. Once you begin thinking about one good thing, you find yourself starting to think about other good things, and you move farther and farther away from those negative expectations.
This is Positive Future Pacing in action. When you begin to shift your focus to something positive you allow for all kinds of options to open up, and give yourself the ability to notice when the good stuff does happen. You have the ability to decide how things are going to go. In fact, you've been doing it all along. Now let's use that power for good!
The Role of Hypnosis
Hypnosis uses focused attention and strategic language to introduce change in a way your mind can naturally accept and integrate. It can help you to free your mind of the negative patterns and beliefs so they don't keep showing up in your day to day life.
Hypnosis allows you to access that deeper patterning, reframe your thoughts, and create real, lasting change. You’ll also learn practical strategies you can use anytime, anywhere to help you navigate through times that, in the past, used to feel challenging.